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2014/10/26

A grain of sand: Extra story of 'Under the same sun'

Some stuff to know before you start: 

"Talking"
'Thought'
"When Leia is talking in her head"
"When the little girl in talking with Leia (in her head)"

Enjoy!

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Ice cold winds that drifted from the air above the sea and blew through my hair, combing it gently. It was a lonely winter evening and I was sitting on the cool sand on the beach. I should have gone home, but I didn't. I didn't feel like it. A grain of sand is so minuscule and the sea in front of it is so vast. Wondered, recently did, about a thought that was long forgotten. ‘How much do you really amount to in this world?’ A question that I honestly never thought to come back to 10 years later.
“I really should just stop thinking about it.” I said to myself. No one was around except a few insects that kept me company and some crabs that kept looking for a shell. I had lost the feeling of feeling lonely long time ago, but my childhood self still has some issues to resolve, and this is one of those. 


I dug my chin into my knees softly; my arms wrapped around my legs as I brought them really close to my body. A coat in this chilly weather? Didn't bring one. Maybe wear some long sleeved shirt? Didn't do that either. So, basically, I was out in the cold with a half sleeved shirt, a sleeveless on top of that plus a jeans pant. So, basically again, I was in summer time mood where as my body cried in the cold and got it’s tears frozen due to the freezing temperature.


‘Am I the same as a grain of sand?’ I thought. I knew it wasn't a healthy thing to do. I tried not to be bothered by it but those rational thoughts were always kicked out of my internal mental ‘consideration’ system because my heart apparently wants ‘emotional’ thoughts instead. Darn you, heart. No wonder women are so complicated. 


A voice spoke in my head.
“I’m so tiny…”


‘Ah… It’s her.’ I thought to myself, realizing it’s my inner child from a long time ago. I always wonder why she is so lonely at times when people around love her so much.
“…Why am I so tiny…”


‘She isn't tiny at all… Was I really this selfish when I was younger?’ I thought once again. I have been through a lot; bullying, peer pressure, family fights. But those no longer happen now. I’m happy. Right?


“LEIA! What are you doing there?!” 

A husky male voice interrupted my thought train. Being naturally surprised, I flinched and immediately turned my head to take note of who it was. As expected, it was my brother, Ryan. “Do you know how cold it outside?! And here you are, without a jacket or anything!” He shouted from the road behind me. I sighed heavily and checked that my heart had nothing to worry about because real talk here, that gave me a heart attack; a mini one in the least. Ryan, who was clearly a mix between concerned and angry, ran down the sandy slope from the road and towards me with a jacket and scarf in his hands. Realizing that it would be best to stand up and be kind to my brother, I stood up and proceeded to questioning him, “Why are you he--” before I could even finish my short sentence, Ryan started shouting again. “Do you know how worried we have been?!” He said, his eyes were fierce and filled with worry, as he wrapped the jacket around me and made me wear it. He then held my hands tightly as his lips formed a frown. “…They are so cold…” He said, his voice was soft and clearly spelled out ‘worry.’


I decided to ask him. She kept tugging on my leg, the small child that she was. She wanted me to tell her; I’m her only voice. So I did. “A grain of sand is so small.” “Huh?” He asked, confused about the sudden question. “It’s so small that its life doesn't even make that much of a difference compared to the sea.” I said, elaborating what I meant as she loosened her tug but still had her grip on my leg. Ryan watched my facial expressions, keeping quiet for a while. It was an awkward silence that enveloped us. That was, until he sighed heavily. I didn't quite understand his actions since he kept quiet once again till he broke the tension between us when he flicked my forehead with his finger.


“Ow, Ow, Ouch!” I cried in pain, holding my forehead with my two hands immediately.


“To the grain of sand, it is the center of it’s life. It is the main event and the biggest thing to it.” He said, his calm tone kicking in. “Huh?” I asked, now making it my turn to be the confused one. “Same goes for you. You are the center of your life.” He said. Of course I knew this. So, I gave him a reproachful look, questioning him of his answer. “But, you are also the center of our lives and Mom’s and Dad’s lives.” My eyes widened. I never expected such an answer from him. Never did I ever anticipate, that my brother, Ryan, would say something like that. “So, let’s go home. Mom’s made lasagna.” He said quietly. I began to smile.


I looked down at the childlike me, smiling at her, as I communicated with her.


“You got your answer, Princess?”

“….Yeah.”


She smiled, slowly letting go of my leg. A new type of happiness flooded my heart. I felt like I’ve been reborn. So I smiled as well and turned towards Ryan. 


“Hey, Ryan!” I called out to my brother who was walking slowly and taking small steps for god knows what reason. “Yeah?” He said, turning his head around to meet my eyes. “First one home gets two pieces of lasagna!!” I shouted at him, with a huge happy grin on my face, and started running, climbing the slope and onto the road. Ryan stood there, shocked for a while. “Huh-- Wait a minute!!”After he realized, he started running as well, being right behind me as I ran towards our house. “That’s cheating!!” He shouted, being happy that his sister smiled again after a week of just sulking. “I made the challenge!!” I shouted back, living my life at that moment and not caring about worries.



Because I knew very well.


didn't have to question it anymore. 

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